So you’re home from the honeymoon. You decide to have family members over to show off the photos and to relive the incredible experience you’ve just gotten back from (or relive the horror story because you need to vent!) Everyone listens courteously and some more intently than others but for the most part it’s a nice gathering. Then someone asks the question, “So, when you going to have kids?” You and your spouse exchange awkward glances at one another. You realize that though you both have a general idea, you haven’t exactly laid out the specifics. Maybe the answer is something like “We aren’t trying but were not trying not to either.” This is a sort of “let the chips fall where they may” attitude that has somehow become both pervasive and widely acceptable in our culture. If this is you, or if you think this could be you, then you need to read this blog.
You see, not having a plan for parenthood can be detrimental to your marriage. Let me write that again for added emphasis. It can be detrimental to your marriage if you don’t have a specific plan for when to become a parent. Don’t believe me? Go back and look at that chart of marital satisfaction again and see where things begin to drop off. It’s when you have kids. Not because it’s bad to have kids but because the stress in your life changes exponentially. Further you lose flexibility in your life. And let’s not even get into the financial considerations! Now these things don’t have to be bad and in fact I think having children is one of the most rewarding jobs a person can have (in fact multiple studies have shown that those that have children generally have more satisfying lives over the long term) but it is something to be entered into very, very seriously with thought, prayer and wise counsel.
Now I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the fact that there are some very, and I mean VERY, good brothers and sisters in Christ that don’t believe in birth control. They don’t believe in contraceptive devices nor do they believe in trying to avoid sexual intercourse when a woman is ovulating. They believe that this is man trying to take control from God and is sinful. It is not my intent to evaluate the credibility of these arguments in this article. I respectfully (and I mean that sincerely) disagree with my brothers and sisters here. The remainder of this article assumes that you are morally ok with the idea of pregnancy prevention methods that occur before conception.
To be continued…
